It's always a hard task to find just the right song for your wedding ceremony. So here are a few more songs that you might have thought of but that might just be perfect.
Your vows are the point in your wedding ceremony where you go from simply being best friends to husband and wife, so it figures that you would want to do your best to make them great. They are probably the thing that I get asked most about, aside from the weather so here is what I have figured out when it comes to writing vows that don't suck.
Before you put pen to paper, or finger to screen, have a go at answering these statements.
- They are the love of my life because ....
- I can be the best husband/wife by ....
- I pinky promise to always ....
- When they are down, I can help by ....
- They make me laugh out loud by ....
- They made me feel .... the first time I met them
- I knew I couldn't live without them when ....
- I choose them because ....
- I will encourage them by....
- I will inspire them ....
- I will love them more than ....
- First, make them feel awesome - complement them, encourage them, affirm them.
- Then make a promise - or many promises after all, that is what vows are all about.
- Make it funny - an ‘in-joke’ or something cute, kitsch, can make a great addition.
- Look towards the future - tell them why you’re looking forward to growing old with them.
- And remember to keep it legal - under NZ law you need to say at some point in your vows “I full name take you full name to my legally wedded wife/husband”.
Keep it Real
Don't think that your vows need to be an epic two page long proclamation of love. Your vows are for each other (not your guests) so keep it real and honest by using the words that you would normally use and don't worry about what anyone else will think or how long they 'should' be.
So in Conclusion....
When it comes to writing your wedding vows, remember that they are simply the promises between the two of you that will form the basis of your marriage. By keeping them simple, honest, real and heartfelt your vows should be awesome. But if your still not sure send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I can send you some great templates and examples to help inspire you.
Here are a few things, some obvious, some not so obvious, that I've learnt as a result of officiating at just about two hundred weddings...
Unlock Your Phone
If your planning on using your phone to play the ceremony music from, make sure you've told the person in charge of the music your password or even better taken it off for the day. There is nothing worse than having to wait while sorting out a phone. For extra credit pop, your phone on flight mode to make sure you won't get a phone call or text message notification broadcast halfway through your walk down the aisle.
Eat The Cake
Seriously after an amazing meal and a long day most likely with drinking involved a lot of people don't feel like cake. Which is a shame because no doubt a lot of hard work went into making the cake and it probably tastes bloody delicious. So why not cut the cake straight after the ceremony and serve it as a round of canapes, with or without champagne, while everyone can truly enjoy it? Another plus is that it means your photographer doesn't have to hang around waiting for you to cut the cake or you don't have to stage a fake cutting of the cake before your time with the photographer runs out.
Do Double Duty With Your Flowers
If you're trying to stretch your budget when it comes to getting the most of your flowers. Why not talk to your florist about using the flowers from your table settings for your ceremony space as well.
Whether it's water, juice or booze if it's hot during summer chances are people will appreciate a drink of some kind. Also, it gives people something to do while waiting without the awkward milling around.
Create a Focal Point
If you're planning on getting married outside chances are the spot you have picked is gorgeous but might be missing something to create a focal point and help make it feel special. If you add some elements, which don't need to be expensive, like a rug, barrels, hay bales for seating or a back drop it will help to make it obvious as to where the ceremony will be happening and elevate the whole feel of it.
Grass, if you're outside, and heels are not a good combo. Go for wedges, flats or those funny looking upside down mini wine glasses that slip on your heels to stop you sinking into the ground.
If you're outside and it's summer chances are it's going to be hot. One trick I've seen to help out with this is if your planning on having programs make them into fans, your guests will appreciate it.
Well yes and no ....
Do you need a rehearsal where everyone is lined up and measured to within a centimetre of where they are going to stand come the wedding day? No.
Is it a good idea to catch up with some of the key players on the day and have a run through about what’s going to happen? Yes, be logistically we do need to cover off;
- Roughly where people are going to stand
- Who is going to have the rings
- If anyone is going to do a reading
- Any last details that need to be confirmed
- Anything else to make sure you feel comfortable with what is going to happen and when
The bridal party might also like to have a walk through to make sure they will know where to go and if the music is long enough. However one of the things I see people panic about the most is about how they walk. Yes, they need to know where they are headed but how they walk doesn’t matter. Generally they just need to walk normally and enjoy the moment.
Rehearsals can start to go a bit funny when the couple get stressed about everything needing to go totally to plan. The best kind of ceremonies is when they are real, emotional and funny. Your guests aren’t there for some kind of over the top production. They are there to celebrate the awesomeness that is two best friends becoming husband and wife, husband and husband, or wife and wife, after all that’s what a wedding is.
Are you looking for ways to honour special people in your life with roles during your wedding? It's common to choose bridesmaids or groomsmen or bridesmen and groomsmaids to stand with your during the ceremony. Of course, most people choose their good friends or siblings for these roles, but what if you have a huge family and a ton of friends? How can you include them and make them feel special? Here are a few ideas for including those special people in your wedding.
The person(s) responsible for assisting the elders, or just special people, to their seats. Traditionally groomsmen do double duty as ushers but think about picking other folks to be ushers if you want to include more people.
the person responsible for carrying the ring and can guide the ring through the ring warming, if you doing that. I’ve had a 90-year-old Granddad be one of the most enthusiastic ring bearers I’ve ever seen.
This person goes down the aisle right before the bride (in a traditional wedding) and drops flower petals for her to walk on. This doesn't have to be a young child – and once again I have had grandparents do it (be warned they started throwing the petals at the guests).
Someone who comes up during the ceremony to read a poem or other bit of writing. Typical topics include; love, marriage, friendship, family, the couple's love story.
A person with a great voice, who has sung in front of crowds, who sings you a lovely song during your ceremony.
A friend or family member who is a professional musician to play your processional and recessional music.
In New Zealand you need two people to act as witnesses to your wedding who sign the marriage licence. Witnesses can be anyone, of any age, as long as they undertand the implication of a marriage
This person ensures the couple getting married always have, and regularly consume water during the wedding day. It's crucial the couple stay hydrated throughout the day and they often forget to drink water.
Sometimes it's nice to assign someone the role of point person for all your wedding vendors. This should be a very responsible person who knows your wishes and can make decisions for your so you're not bothered during your wedding. It may seem more like a job and less like an honour but firstly you need someone to do this if you don't have a wedding planner, secondly, it really is an honour since that person is in charge in your big day
I can't underestimate the role of this person. Getting the dance party started must be assigned to someone. Once one person starts everyone else will feel comfortable getting out there.
There’s a trend right now to have a wicked short ceremony, sort of just "get it over with" and then have a great party. While I’m all for parties, I try to remind my couples that the ceremony is what really matters. Getting up in front of those people who matter most to you in the world and telling them that you’ve found this really awesome human being who you love and want to spend the next fifty years sharing the same bed with is what its all about after all.Read More
As a wedding officiant you wouldn’t think that I would necessarily know how to but on a buttonhole, but actually, more times than not I end up helping the groomsmen do it. I’ve even had to remind the guys to put them on before the ceremony! I’ve learned a few tricks along the way, so here are a few things to know about putting on buttonholes.Read More
When it comes to making the decision about whether or not to change your surname after you’ve married it can be tricky. However there is no official requirement for you to do so. Here the run down on what and how.Read More
I've seen the question come up on many wedding forums: when should I hire my celebrant? It's a good question to be thinking about since without a celebrant you really can't have a legal wedding. Here are my thoughts on when you should hire your wedding celebrant.Read More
Woo hoo!! High fives all round your getting married, umm so now what? Well your going to have to get a marriage licence at some point and unless you’ve done this whole getting married thing before you probably don’t have any idea where to start. Hopefully this blog post will answer the numerous questions I get about how to apply for a marriage licence, like: Where to get one? How early to we need to get a licence? And where do we go?